About Time...

I've started this blog, then erased it about 5 times. I couldn't quite get the words together to express the situation. Sascha is doing well, thank God. She had her first treatment of steroids and chemo the week before last. She definitely did better than her parents. We kept looking at her as though she were made of glass. She would return the look like we were full of crap. Beautiful moment. At least she wasn't flashing that "wish you were dead" look she kept giving the nursing staff. After the first hour, I'm sure she no longer looked that cute to the staff. Needless to say we were given a pass every night to go home. (The cool thing with Scottish Rite is because they don't deal with the red tape of insurance they allow you to sleep in your own bed whenever possible.)

The first time Sascha had any interaction with the nurses, they promised her one stick with her IV. Three sticks later, and the piercing sound of "NOT MY HAND", they were no longer her friends. To Sascha, they were a bunch of hideous liars, and my daughter felt the need to remind them every moment with one glare of her eye. I would like to believe that I have no idea where Sascha gets it from, but as anyone who knows me~including that jackass at the bar in Chicago, my belief would be a joke. That apple never fell far from this tree.

Okay speaking of BIG JOKES, to remind you, Sascha needs the steroid infusion every other week and the chemo once a week. The chemo comes in the form of a shot. Guess who is suppose to administer this shot. YEAH, you guessed it, her parents. What the @#$%! I immediately sent a letter to my man and his squeeze, Barack and Michelle, they need to look into this whole health care system from every angle. Did I mention the letter never really left my mind, just a good thought. In what world is it a good idea for me to give anyone a shot. They should give people an anger management assessment first before a prescription like that is given. I have about 40 friends to back this theory up. After that bobcat sighting in our neighborhood a month ago, a friend suggested I carry a little heat on my morning jogs. I still laugh at the idea of carrying heat period. I can't imagine, I would be whipping it out all the time. Would YOU like to talk back to me oooone more time Jazzy?, Hey Sascha~ say whatever oooone more time!, Go ahead you curly headed boy cry oooone more time, Hey Lonz remember when you were trying to figure out if that girl was from Argentina?. And that's just my family. Now let's picture Alonzo giving a shot... come on, he's been hitting that tequila bottle since he was 10! I know his hands must be shaky as hell. He has about 50 friends that can back this theory up, most of them bought the bottles! Speaking of friends, let us give an Alleluia for Adrienne. My little pediatric ICU nurse friend, what a beautiful person. She came over with her skill and polished that puppy quick. I felt a little weak when she did it, so this only means I am NOT ready. I hope to be ready by Thanksgiving. Let us pray.

The question we have heard the most after "How's Sascha", is how are you guys doing? We are fine. Alonzo looks better every day. At the start he just carried the world on his shoulders. He has always had a special connection with Sascha, her birth was the first thing that made him smile after his moms passing two months prior. He's still quite, but his smile is still lighting up the room and our lives. Jazzy is doing great in school, still full of drama but equally full of love. Diego is finally learning how to defend himself, he is the one who is feeling the side affects of the steroid treatment the most. Pray for Go Go, Sheena Sascha warrior princess is kicking his butt and keeping score. As for myself, I'm doing fine. I enjoy my Lord's sense of humor. Every time I just want to curl up and cry, there is something that reminds me not too. I was worried about Sascha having too many drugs in her system, and friend tells me her mother is in stage 3 of her breast cancer and will have heavy duty doses of chemo. I was sad thinking about this time last year when I was dealing with my father's death, and a friend tells me that his dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and he's been sleeping by his bedside since. Saturday was the one year anniversary of my father's death and it was also the same day a mom from Coppell was burying her four year old son. In short, I really am doing fine. I love my family and friends very much, I don't take them for granted, not for a minute. Every moment counts. Today I prayed for patience because it is the only thing I need. Patience to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Thanks to all for keeping in touch and checking in on my Sascha. She loved all the goodies given to her while she was in the hospital. Very thoughtful and very much appreciated by all of us. With my love always...peace.

Medicine Time...

Wow it has definitely been a while. After 3 weeks of absolute craziness, we have a plan. We check into Scottish Rite this Wednesday for three days. During this time they will administer an infusion of chemo and steroids everyday for three days. We are so scared, we are almost mute about the subject. I have felt like throwing up since Friday's appointment. The idea of it all sends a chill down my back. It is a feeling I have never known, a sensation in my heart I can't describe. This time last year I knew my father was dying and I couldn't stop it. I am so glad that I have never been one of those boohoo people that grasp onto the phrase "now what else can possibly happen to me". How shocking a week short of the one year anniversary of my dad's death we will are dealing with this madness. In the last five years, we have lost my mother-in-law, dealt with Diego's hospitalization, lost my brother-in-law, lost my father and now dealing with this disease that is affecting my baby girl. So for those of you reading this, hug your loved ones a little closer or at least call them, don't worry about yesterday and look forward to tomorrow. While we are still breathing, God always gives us another day.
On the bright side of things, Sascha is looking good. She is still giving her siblings crap and making the dog cry. Yeah our dog really cries. The latest is she leashed the dog and tied her up to Diego's bed. She decided during all these appointments she has learned the valid skill of clinical assistance. Guess who her patient was, yeah you guessed it, Savvy. I walked in on her and the dog's ears were down and her tail was between her legs, Sascha on the other hand had a play pot and spatula in her hand. Good timing on my part, I would hate to have known what she would have done with the spatula. Hang in there Savvy, we really are a very loving family. Hey and before I forget, thanks to all who keep helping us with everything. My sister is my rock, thanks so much for taking the time to watch our kiddos so we can focus on Sascha. McKenna & Gary you guys rock for the buddy passes you shot our direction for Carmen to come down and go back. You have saved us some cash. Not to mention hanging with Diego for 5 hours while we dealt with the madness at Scottish Rite. And everyone else who has seen every side of me. I realize that psycho side isn't pretty, so thanks for being patient with me and letting me vent. Also for all of those who have prayed for Alonzo, thank you, he hasn't said anything stupid in a long time. Peace and love always.

I will keep in touch with the rest soon.